Monday, June 29, 2009


Summer is my favorite season, if it wasn’t I would be in big trouble because I live in a state were it is summer from May to October. But June is a rough month for me and mixed in with all of the happiness there is just enough sadness that I end up feeling blue and I usually end up with a migraine at some point during the month. The migraine sends me to bed and I end up dealing with my blues in my dreams.

June to me is a month of endings and some years the endings seem more final than others. June is a month of school years ending with students moving on and some graduate. In 05 and this June I watched my own sons graduate from high school. I know this is how it is supposed to happen but as I Mom I watch them growing up and the end of high school means they are grown up.

June is also a month when I am reminded of my Grandmother’s death. She has been gone for more than 10 years now but I still ache for her at times and June seems to be when it is the worst. It’s funny I don’t believe in ghosts but there are times, especially when I need guidance, I hear my Grandmother’s voice. The first few times it happened it was startling but now it just is and there are times when I find myself listening and waiting for her voice.

I get restless in June; I want to do something but I can never quite put my finger on what it is that I want to do. This is when I start to think about moving even though I don’t really want to move. It is when I think about taking a long trip to nowhere in particular but I usually don’t go too far or anywhere, money and other commitments keep me where I am.

This June did have bright spots that accompanied my blues. My youngest son graduated from high school in the top 25% of his class. Had he taken all regular classes he may have finished higher but he would not be college ready. All of this from a child that did not speak before he was almost 4 and was in the special education program until he was in 6th grade. He plays 2 instruments and sings in a beautiful deep voice that is very soothing. He has decided that he wants to become a professor of music history. If you would like to see pictures of his graduation go to doohickie's blog.

My parents were able to make the trip to Texas to see their grandson graduate and they spent three weeks with us. We went antique hunting, ate at some great restaurants, Mom and I played scrabble and we went shopping. I cried when they left, I hate good-byes.

I was very nervous about my son’s choice of college. He was accepted to three schools and his 2nd choice was my first choice but I tried really hard not to heavily influence his decision. This past week he had freshman orientation and I went with him. After the orientation was over I felt much better about his choice, I can see how he will fit in and that they will be supportive of his educational and personal goals. So in August I will help my youngest child move into his dorm and he will start the next chapter of his life.

In a couple more days another June will be gone and when July starts my blues always seem to lift and fad.


HeidiTri's said...

And in July, the Mack-Attack and I will be there!! It's hard to be in a funk with us around :)

Seriously, I get where you're coming from. I have the urge to move on an almost monthly basis. And, many of us have heard Grams voice when we've needed her. I think it's a testiment to the connections she made with each of her Grandchildren.

PennyCandy said...

I am so excited that the two of you are coming. Paul has a bike ready for you and he hasn't had any luck finding a kids bike in a dumpster so there won't be one for Mack to ride.

Felicia said...

that stinks that you feel this way every June. Luckily it's almost over! And I think that's a great choice for a career path for Mr. C!

TC said...

It's July :)

I hope you get to enjoy the rest of summer.

PennyCandy said...

You are so right TC. Yeah it is July. I am already starting to feel better.

TC said...

I recently made my blog private. I can't seem to find an email for you. Please email me at, and I will add you.

Bone said...

there are times when I find myself listening and waiting for her voice.

That was kind of beautiful.

Now that it's July, I hope your blues have begun to subside. Oddly enough, I had a migraine last weekend. Though I've never noticed it being a June thing. Just an every few weeks or months thing.

PennyCandy said...

Bone; I"m sorry you get migraines more often. I don't get them so much anymore but I always usually get one in June. It is usually stress and weather induced.