Darkness comes again. I do not just mean the lack of sunlight outside.
When son #1 and 2 were little we moved to Michigan. I lost my beloved grandmother and I slowly slipped into a depressed state. I knew I was there but did not know how bad it was until son #2 sat down next to me one morning and with his hand on my face he said "don't cry Mommy, I love you." This was monumental for him and I. He has an auditory processing disorder and that was one of his first full and understandable sentences. It was also what made me realize I needed help.
I went to the doctor and to my minister for support. It took a little more than a year for me to work through all that had happened and I slowly came off the medicine. I have been without depression since then ... up until now.
I realized Sunday that depression was slowly creeping back into my life. The dark has started to seep into my everyday being. I do not feel as hopeless as I did when the boys are little. It was a single comment by someone I know in passing that made me realize that the events of this year were and are weighing to heavy on me. With the simple words "you look defeated" I realized that for the first time in very long time a felt defeated.
What brought me to this point is not really necessary to discuss; what is important is that I recognized the dark before it swallowed me whole. So today I met with my doctor and with her help and the support of my family and friends I hope to step out of the darkness very soon.
Monday, November 21, 2011
Saturday, November 5, 2011
Saturday School
So today was not the first Saturday school of the year but it is the first one that the social studies department worked. We shared the day with English.
For this Saturday school we had 101 students show up. The disappointing piece; only 6 of them were mine. The 6 that showed are all doing fine in the class...the other 56 not so much. Okay maybe the other 45 not so much. I have 4 students that have zero for their average. Yes you read that right a zero. They have turned nothing in. They are making me crazy. How do you sit in class, do your work, and then not turn it it? It makes no sense to me.
After Saturday school was over I had my massage that was followed by a nap. That always makes life better.
Husband I also did our Samaritan's Purse shopping this evening so that they can be turned in at church tomorrow morning. When we do this each year we always do a boy box and a girl box. I always hope the little girl that gets the box is a girly girl because I pink and purple that box out. Hey it's my once a year events.
Life is good.
For this Saturday school we had 101 students show up. The disappointing piece; only 6 of them were mine. The 6 that showed are all doing fine in the class...the other 56 not so much. Okay maybe the other 45 not so much. I have 4 students that have zero for their average. Yes you read that right a zero. They have turned nothing in. They are making me crazy. How do you sit in class, do your work, and then not turn it it? It makes no sense to me.
After Saturday school was over I had my massage that was followed by a nap. That always makes life better.
Husband I also did our Samaritan's Purse shopping this evening so that they can be turned in at church tomorrow morning. When we do this each year we always do a boy box and a girl box. I always hope the little girl that gets the box is a girly girl because I pink and purple that box out. Hey it's my once a year events.
Life is good.
Saturday, October 22, 2011
Homecoming Week
So growing up homecoming was never a big deal at my high school. At least I do not remember it being a big deal...BUT in Texas is is more than a big deal it is a HUGE deal.
So the festivities went as follows Monday was Celebrity day. A few students dressed up and 4 teachers dressed. I was one of those teachers. I borrowed my youngest son's Renaissance costume and I became William Shakespeare. The photo is below.
Tuesday was career day and because we had big wigs coming in the building I dressed like a very good teacher; heels and all. Guess what my students dressed as? Basketball players and rappers. I did have a few that dressed as doctors and CEOs.
Wednesday was crazy; it was retro/tacky day. You got to pick which one to be. I went way retro and wore a poodle skirt with a sweater set and white keds. I was retro. Most of our kids came in tacky clothes and I do mean T-A-C-K-Y. The principal had to give them a very stern warning about there behavior and clothing. They got it under control and had a great day the rest of the day.
Thursday was pink-out for breast cancer. I have a pink shirt that has a pair of cowboy boots and hat that says "Give Cancer The Boot". I wore that. I also have one with pink boxing gloves that say hope and love with the pink ribbon with the phrase "fight like a girl". I decided not to wear that one.
Friday was spirit day so I wore my traditional blue dress with the highlander blue-black and white plaid.
Overall it was a good week and we get to extend it to Monday because we can sport our Ranger gear with jeans. Go Rangers!!
So the festivities went as follows Monday was Celebrity day. A few students dressed up and 4 teachers dressed. I was one of those teachers. I borrowed my youngest son's Renaissance costume and I became William Shakespeare. The photo is below.
Tuesday was career day and because we had big wigs coming in the building I dressed like a very good teacher; heels and all. Guess what my students dressed as? Basketball players and rappers. I did have a few that dressed as doctors and CEOs.
Wednesday was crazy; it was retro/tacky day. You got to pick which one to be. I went way retro and wore a poodle skirt with a sweater set and white keds. I was retro. Most of our kids came in tacky clothes and I do mean T-A-C-K-Y. The principal had to give them a very stern warning about there behavior and clothing. They got it under control and had a great day the rest of the day.
Thursday was pink-out for breast cancer. I have a pink shirt that has a pair of cowboy boots and hat that says "Give Cancer The Boot". I wore that. I also have one with pink boxing gloves that say hope and love with the pink ribbon with the phrase "fight like a girl". I decided not to wear that one.
Friday was spirit day so I wore my traditional blue dress with the highlander blue-black and white plaid.
Overall it was a good week and we get to extend it to Monday because we can sport our Ranger gear with jeans. Go Rangers!!
Saturday, October 8, 2011
What is that?
I was sitting in my office this evening trying to make myself do some work. That did not happen.
Then I heard a sound...I sound that I have not heard in a very long time. Could it be...yes it is...RAIN.
Rain that we have needed for so long. Rain that has been falling for an hour. Rain that is also accompanied by thunder and lighting. Rain that the ground is soaking in; if I listen carefully I am sure the ground is letting out a long low sigh. Like a human takes in a breath of fresh air or a long drink of ice water on a hot day.
Rain that delayed the Rangers game and a marching competition but a rain that was and is much needed so the delays are very much worth the trouble. Rain fall all night long I will not mind and neither will the ground or the rivers.
Then I heard a sound...I sound that I have not heard in a very long time. Could it be...yes it is...RAIN.
Rain that we have needed for so long. Rain that has been falling for an hour. Rain that is also accompanied by thunder and lighting. Rain that the ground is soaking in; if I listen carefully I am sure the ground is letting out a long low sigh. Like a human takes in a breath of fresh air or a long drink of ice water on a hot day.
Rain that delayed the Rangers game and a marching competition but a rain that was and is much needed so the delays are very much worth the trouble. Rain fall all night long I will not mind and neither will the ground or the rivers.
Saturday, October 1, 2011
A picture is worth a thousand words
I took this picture at the Fort Worth Botanical Gardens.
It brings forth many thought to my mind. What does it bring to yours?
Saturday, September 24, 2011
S-A-T-U-R-D-A-Y Night
The line from that Bay City Rollers song decided to enter my brain and Pandora radio is not on. Ugh!!! Oh how long has it been since any of you have heard that song? Lucky for me that is the only line I remember from that song.
I remember when I was a young teen I could not wait to be old enough for an outing that did not involve family and Saturday night in the same sentence. I was not allowed to date until I was sixteen and my friends and I lived in the middle-of-nowhere so our Saturday night fun had to happen during sleep-overs.
When I was in elementary school my best-friend was also a Belinda and when we were in first grade we had our first sleep over together. I do not remember a whole lot about the sleep-over. I do not even remember if I made it all the way through the night or if my Dad had to come and get me. I do know that she lived in a two-story house on a pretty steep hill and she had neighbors; it was a very small housing development. I thought they were rich and that she was the luckiest girl I knew because she did not have to collect eggs from the chicken coop or deal with the nasty smell of cows.
The sleep-overs are remember the most are all jumbled together because as I entered Middle School Belinda and I developed different interests and Debby and I became best friends. We are still close even with several miles and states between us. She is godmother to son #1 but now I am chasing rabbits. Back to sleep-overs.
We lived several miles apart when we were going visiting that meant a parent had to drive us. This was a good thing because it often meant that we could turn a one night sleep-over to a several day sleep-over.
There are three that I remember the most that I am willing to write about. A girl has to have some secrets.
The first one I remember was the night that we stayed up and watched "The House Of Wax" with Vincent Price. The movies left us so terrified that we checked in the closet (multiple times), under the bed and even all the other nooks and crannies that we could think of. We left all the lights in her room all night long. I know I did not sleep much that night. To this day I still do not like scary movies.
The second one was not so much the sleep over but the event after the sleep over. My mom and dad came to pick me up from Debby's house; which is located on a very steep hill. There was ice on the hill from a storm that had passed though and our car was at the top of that hill; no one was in the car at the time our parents were talking when all of the sudden our car started to roll backwards down their driveway. My mom yells the car is moving stop the car. My dad without thinking does what she says. He tries to stop the car but instead of stopping the car he fell backwards on the ice and hit his head pretty hard. Man...when he stood up he was madder than a wet-hen. Luckily he was not hurt and the car was not really damaged either. We laugh about it now but at the time it was a little scary.
The third one was actually a sleep over at my house. Once again it was not the sleep over but what happened when the two of us were together. I had decided to enter the Miss Renssalaer County beauty pageant. Deb was in the audience with my parents cheering me on. I placed 6th. It was fun and I liked that my best-friend was there for me.
I guess this isn't really about Saturday nights anymore but it is about my best-friend since forever.
This is the same friend that let me cry on her shoulder when I had my heart-broken; I am a hopeless romantic so it has been broken often. She was part of my wedding party, and we see each other whenever I come to town.
She also made the trip to Fort Worth to visit. Not once but twice; both times while my husband was away on business trips so she helped me keep my sanity. I was a brand new mom with a baby that got sick often and he did not sleep well. She gave me time to shower and nap if I needed to.
Her birthday has just passed and she usually reminds me that she is younger than I am, by less than 2 months but she still reminds me. So instead of wishing I was out on an S-A-T-U-R-D-A-Y night I wish I was having a sleep-over with my best friend.
Love ya lots and lots Deb and Happy Birthday.
I remember when I was a young teen I could not wait to be old enough for an outing that did not involve family and Saturday night in the same sentence. I was not allowed to date until I was sixteen and my friends and I lived in the middle-of-nowhere so our Saturday night fun had to happen during sleep-overs.
When I was in elementary school my best-friend was also a Belinda and when we were in first grade we had our first sleep over together. I do not remember a whole lot about the sleep-over. I do not even remember if I made it all the way through the night or if my Dad had to come and get me. I do know that she lived in a two-story house on a pretty steep hill and she had neighbors; it was a very small housing development. I thought they were rich and that she was the luckiest girl I knew because she did not have to collect eggs from the chicken coop or deal with the nasty smell of cows.
The sleep-overs are remember the most are all jumbled together because as I entered Middle School Belinda and I developed different interests and Debby and I became best friends. We are still close even with several miles and states between us. She is godmother to son #1 but now I am chasing rabbits. Back to sleep-overs.
We lived several miles apart when we were going visiting that meant a parent had to drive us. This was a good thing because it often meant that we could turn a one night sleep-over to a several day sleep-over.
There are three that I remember the most that I am willing to write about. A girl has to have some secrets.
The first one I remember was the night that we stayed up and watched "The House Of Wax" with Vincent Price. The movies left us so terrified that we checked in the closet (multiple times), under the bed and even all the other nooks and crannies that we could think of. We left all the lights in her room all night long. I know I did not sleep much that night. To this day I still do not like scary movies.
The second one was not so much the sleep over but the event after the sleep over. My mom and dad came to pick me up from Debby's house; which is located on a very steep hill. There was ice on the hill from a storm that had passed though and our car was at the top of that hill; no one was in the car at the time our parents were talking when all of the sudden our car started to roll backwards down their driveway. My mom yells the car is moving stop the car. My dad without thinking does what she says. He tries to stop the car but instead of stopping the car he fell backwards on the ice and hit his head pretty hard. Man...when he stood up he was madder than a wet-hen. Luckily he was not hurt and the car was not really damaged either. We laugh about it now but at the time it was a little scary.
The third one was actually a sleep over at my house. Once again it was not the sleep over but what happened when the two of us were together. I had decided to enter the Miss Renssalaer County beauty pageant. Deb was in the audience with my parents cheering me on. I placed 6th. It was fun and I liked that my best-friend was there for me.
I guess this isn't really about Saturday nights anymore but it is about my best-friend since forever.
This is the same friend that let me cry on her shoulder when I had my heart-broken; I am a hopeless romantic so it has been broken often. She was part of my wedding party, and we see each other whenever I come to town.
She also made the trip to Fort Worth to visit. Not once but twice; both times while my husband was away on business trips so she helped me keep my sanity. I was a brand new mom with a baby that got sick often and he did not sleep well. She gave me time to shower and nap if I needed to.
Her birthday has just passed and she usually reminds me that she is younger than I am, by less than 2 months but she still reminds me. So instead of wishing I was out on an S-A-T-U-R-D-A-Y night I wish I was having a sleep-over with my best friend.
Love ya lots and lots Deb and Happy Birthday.
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
Maps
I am going to enlighten you about the use of maps in my class.I am not sure if I find what I am about to tell you funny or sad; maybe it is a little bit of each.
Last week I had my students create a mental map of the world. They were given a piece of plain paper and they needed to draw the world. Once the world was drawn the continents, prime meridian and equator needed to be labeled. I do not care how perfect the continents are because I can not draw but their placement and realitive size need to be correct. The also need to indicate where the following places are: The Galapagos Islands, The Amazon River Basin, The Gulf of Guinea, Lake Victoria and Borneo. For those of you that do not know the importance of these is they are all on the equator. They also have a list of events, cultural items, ect. to place on the map.
I am grading these assignments and this is the part that makes me smile, laugh and cry all at the same time. Africa is smaller than New Zealand, Lake Victoria is located in Mexico, Asia and Europe do not touch each other. Mexico is bigger than South America, the Atlantic takes up almost the whole page. A few of them are actually pretty good but most of them not so much. So we will be completing more of these as the year goes on and my hope is that they get better. I also hope it is sooner rather than later.
If you know what the world looks like without looking at a map or a globe please take the time to thank your World Geography teacher.
Last week I had my students create a mental map of the world. They were given a piece of plain paper and they needed to draw the world. Once the world was drawn the continents, prime meridian and equator needed to be labeled. I do not care how perfect the continents are because I can not draw but their placement and realitive size need to be correct. The also need to indicate where the following places are: The Galapagos Islands, The Amazon River Basin, The Gulf of Guinea, Lake Victoria and Borneo. For those of you that do not know the importance of these is they are all on the equator. They also have a list of events, cultural items, ect. to place on the map.
I am grading these assignments and this is the part that makes me smile, laugh and cry all at the same time. Africa is smaller than New Zealand, Lake Victoria is located in Mexico, Asia and Europe do not touch each other. Mexico is bigger than South America, the Atlantic takes up almost the whole page. A few of them are actually pretty good but most of them not so much. So we will be completing more of these as the year goes on and my hope is that they get better. I also hope it is sooner rather than later.
If you know what the world looks like without looking at a map or a globe please take the time to thank your World Geography teacher.
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